Like a flower most relationships are difficult at best and need constant emotional attention and nourishment. If either partner or spouse withdraws their attention the relationship can wilt and whither, leading to the other party seeking attention elsewhere, and once someone has been unfaithful and trust is broken it can be extremely hard to put the pieces back together… but it's not impossible.
Here are 5 tips you and your wife can use to help deal with the pain of an affair and rebuild trust in your relationship.
- Get Your Bearings
- Seek Counselling Together
- Communicate Civilly with Each Other
- Express Your Emotions
- Re-Commit to Each Other
Get Your Bearings
When you've been rocked with something as emotionally devastating as an affair the first thing you need to do is to step back, evaluate the situation and get your bearings. Most people are in a state of shock and disbelief after they find out about an affair they experience feelings of anger and self doubt and even depression. If this has happened to you, now is the time to talk to someone, a family member or a friend can be a great source of support at this time.
Seek Counselling Together
After an affair couples may seek to get counselling from a professional. This is a great opportunity for both parties to express their feelings and emotions to a neutral, unbiased third party who can objectively look at the situation and make recommendations. For this step to work, both people must be willing to commit and make the process work.
Communicate Civilly With Each Other
Another step to healing after an affair is civil communication from both couples. Before you bring up the topic of the affair, make sure you lay out ground rules for both of you. You've got questions that need to be answered but you need to go about it in a sensitive way. Your wife is probably feeling embarrassed and quite guilty at the moment so you need to provide a climate where you can both communicate freely and honestly without hostility.
Express Your Emotions
Don't hold back your emotions when you're trying to move past an affair. There are several things you can do to express your emotions which is a critical part of healing. Cry if you need to. Crying is the body's natural way of dealing with stressful situations and physical pain, so cry a lot. The other thing you might want to do is write down your feelings in a journal. Writing down your thoughts and feelings allows you to get them out and helps to remove the pain associated with the feeling.
Re-Commit To Each Other
Make an effort for both you and your wife to re-commit to each other. Instead of laying guilt trips on her, start to try and re-establish that connection you lost. Take it slow and start small, your wife need to buy you extravagant gifts to start the healing process. Try starting with something as simple as a foot rub or a back rub when you're sitting together. Use the power of touch to re-establish both the physical and emotional connection that was lost.
I know you're angry with your wife and how hard it can be to try and put the pieces of your shattered life back together after an affair, but if you want to really make it work you'll need to learn 3 methods that were designs specifically to help deal with the emotional stress that comes with infidelity.
These methods are easy to understand but they will take a little practice and patience, you can read how to do it in my free report here: Wife Having an Affair.
Don't give up hope, it's NOT impossible. Learn more ways to deal with your wife having an affair by clicking the link.