- 1). Respect the child's home literacy. According to Dr. Ruby Payne, each socioeconomic class comes with its own set of 'hidden rules.' For example, she asserts that in poverty, 'people' are possessions. In middle class, 'things' are viewed as possessions, and in wealth, 'one of a kind object and legacies' are possessions. Each socioeconomic class has a hidden language that is necessary for survival. Learning these hidden languages will help you earn the respect of the child you are trying to help.
- 2). Build relationships with those who take care of the child and begin to build a supportive community for the child. Often, a child who has a difficult home life will be living with a guardian who wants to help them, but lacks some of the resources. Often, this could be a single parent who is working two or three jobs to put food on the table, but doesn't have the energy to help the child with homework. As the child's mentor, it is your job to befriend the child's guardian, and try to fill in the gaps. That may mean offering tutoring after school, being a consistent friend, or just allowing the child to talk. Seek out other resources for the child such as school counselors, religious clergy, or high school mentors.
- 3). Teach the child appropriate problem solving skills. Dr. Ellen Sholevar, chair of the Department of Psychiatry at Temple University Hospital and Temple University Children's Medical Center, argues that a child develops problem solving skills from what he sees at home, and if he sees violence, the child is more apt to solve conflict with violence. Therefore, she suggests teaching the child 'pro-social' behavior, which encourages listening to the child and praising him when he makes a good social choice or solves a conflict with kind words.
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