Violence.
When I think of it, the first thing that comes to my mind is a name of an ex-general and dictator, whose name was: Viola (he who violates).
That summarizes is quite well: force someone to do something against its free will.
Situation one.
A schoolboy is molested by a kid with bad intentions.
"You should tell the school teacher about it," he has learned, but they don't do anything is his experience, they ignore it or just aren't always around.
The boy who is receiving the insults isn't afraid, but gets tired of the continuous bullying and he is the first to (re)act ...
In the end, both are penalized, but if no one would have stopped the boy, the aggressor would have continued for ever.
On the internet I found the "Kindness is Contagious...
Catch It" program (1).
Interesting program I think.
But at the same time I wonder how close it is to reality.
Kindness doesn't always help those who play another game.
Situation two: A very aggressive coach is shouting at the kids in his team.
We are talking about eight, nine-year-olds.
The kids play as aggressive as their coach has taught them, it seems.
Kids from the other team are tackled more than once, receive hard injuries and the referee (himself only a kid) just watches this.
The parents on the bench summon the coach to calm-down and to "take it easy," but it doesn't help.
Obviously.
After some kid is hurt again, and an angry father shouts to this coach to relax, the coach becomes angry and walks to the side towards this father.
Imagine what happens...
Kindness? Could it have prevented all this? So instead, the angry father who's child is molested ask to stop the game; he requests a time out.
He than walks to the coach and starts a conversation: "excuse me, ...
" In theory, this would be the way.
As learned in the sales-training, take it easy, try to convince the other person you are dealing with, etc, etc.
In practice this is not how it works.
Yet, the escalation of violence starts when responding violence with violence.
In some cases -- in practice -- it just seems the only way to have someone to stop.
Although I think kindness could help, it applies in "only" 80 percent of the cases.
I'm afraid that the last 20 percent - as with anything - is the most problematic.
If kindness doesn't help, will application of the law do so? Situation two continues in court.
The aggressive coach has been hit by an angry father.
The coach is defended by the best lawyer and the father is penalized.
The coach doesn't learn and only the visible violence is treated.
This is only a beginning, where violence starts.
With little incidents like these.
Kindness is about giving.
Give love and you will receive love; harvest what you will seed.
But many have never received love and don't know how to give.
In day-to-day situations kindness may improve the climate.
In dire situations and the worst 20 percent I think we need something extra.
But what? H.
J.
B.