Let me tell you a little story.
When my nephew was a toddler, he had a favorite toy.
This toy was a small plastic ice cream truck.
Sounds harmless, right? You might say that.
That is, you might say that if you didn't have to live in the house with the ice cream truck.
You see, this truck had sound effects.
At all hours of the day and night, echoing through the house, you could hear the cry of EEEEE-AAAAAA, ICE CREAM, ICE CREAM at nerve damaging decibels.
Not only that, but it seems to be impossible to turn the sound off.
This created a situation where in order to save the sanity of the other people living in the house it would become necessary to break my nephews tiny toddler heart by taking away his favorite toy.
How can you do that? But, by the same token, how can you live day after day, week after week, month after month with ungodly cries breaking the silence at the most unexpected and inopportune times? This is why I believe, and I am 100% certain that anyone who has ever lived in a house with a toddler or, even more so, more than one toddler, will agree with me wholeheartedly, that toys that make noise should be governed by some sort of laws.
I'm all for freedom and everything, I don't think that it should be illegal to manufacture them or own them.
I think that should be a personal choice for every parent to make for themselves.
But I do think it should be illegal, and punishable by very stiff penalties, to give these toys as presents at birthday parties.
In fact, I have the perfect punishment! Every person who is convicted of giving a toddler a noise toy should be sentenced to having to have that same toy in their house and have it set off at random moments, without control, set at full volume.
This sentence should last for it exactly as long as the toddler that they gave it to maintain interest in their own toy.
As long as the toddler's family is suffering, so should the giver.
I think it's perfect!