A contested divorce is basically one where both parties are unable to come to an agreement about terms.
This could be because of children or property.
When dealing with this type of divorce it is important to have a strategy or have a set of tactics that can assist you in getting through a contested divorce.
Keep in mind that these types of divorces can last two years or more depending on the issues at hand.
There are of course other reasons why a divorce may be contested.
One party may not want the divorce.
The other option other than children is and large pieces of property are those that decide they want to extract revenge by using the divorce.
These situations are usually created by a lack of communication on both sides of the divorce.
Of course, lack of communication is also a common reason why divorces happen in the first place.
As much as you may want to whether you are a man or a woman during a contested divorce is not the time to be nice.
Especially if the other party is out for blood, playing nice at this point is a good way to end up being on the short end of the stick when it comes down to division of assets, properties, custody and visitation.
It can be especially hard on some men to be involved in a contested divorce.
For most men their instincts will tell them to provide protection for their spouse even during a heated argument.
As a result, in order to protect her from even emotional pain they may be tempted to give in.
For some women it may be harder to stick to your goals and needs especially if you are not a confrontational individual.
However, this is not the time to back down.
It is important to make sure that you maintain your position at this point.
There is another thing to consider if you are a man and this is something that has slowly been changing but has not completely become mainstream everywhere.
In fact, it often depends on where you are if it is accepted or not.
Society traditional says women and children belong together.
Unless the children are old enough to decide for themselves who they want to live with nine times out of ten a mother is going to get primary custody.
There are exceptions such as when the mother suffers from a mental illness or other issue that makes her unfit.
For the most part however, this is the norm.
This has been changing but only recently has it become closer to an equal situation.
Most men are going to have a serious fight on their hands if they want custody of the children.
No matter who is contesting the divorce, more often than not it is going to be the woman.
A divorce is like a war.
There are battles, advances, retreats, and negotiations.
Depending on the woman in a contested divorce she will try to go for everything she can get.
Men who are contesting usually do the same thing.
Occasionally, you will get both parties contesting.
Especially if there are children involved be sure to let them know that this has nothing to do with them and that they will not be losing either of their parents.
In order to successfully manage this type of battle you will need to have a team on your side.
This should consist of your lawyer, accountant or financial advisor and insurance agent.
Have a list and details of your financial situation including property and assets that are jointly owed.
Anything that is personally owned is usually not part of a contested divorce.
You will also need to notify the attorney of any children who are under the age of 18 as custody will need to be considered for them.
Once you have a clear outline of everything that is jointly owned come up with exactly what you want to take away from the marriage when the divorce is final.
You are going to want to get a P.
O box if you are still living in the home as well as close out any jointly held accounts.
In a contested divorce one or both parties are looking to get everything they can out of the other person and out of the marriage.
This type of divorce usually ends the relationship completely and can create damage to a relationship with children.
It is a good idea to try to use tactics right from the start to minimize the duration and ugliness that comes with contested divorces.