Dealing with difficult in-laws must be one of the most emotionally draining experiences one has to go through. There will be very few people able to say they did not make any mistakes when having to deal with stubborn in-laws. Following are some of the mistakes people make when dealing with obstinate in-laws.

They get caught up in the victim mentality. Constant complaining and negative thinking can prevent you from finding a solution to our problem.

Overreacting. Exploding in anger only to withdraw in silence will make you look hysterical to the people around you. You will feel embarrassed and inadequate and you will reinforce to your in laws that you are the problem.

Underreacting. You tell yourself that it's not that bad, suppress your feelings and feel totally stressed out whenever you need to interact with your in-laws

Having unrealistic expectations of themselves. You tell yourself that you're a big girl and you can take it.

Having unrealistic expectations of their partner. Your partner will not see his family through your eyes; he's known them all his life and has learned to overlook their shortcomings.

Having unrealistic expectations of their in-laws. Come to terms with the fact that your in-laws are not required to love you or approve of you and may never become the people you want them to. Accepting this simple truth will release you from the exhaustive struggle to try and get your in-laws to treat you the way you want to be treated.

Many of us get stuck in the victim stance of "what are they going to do to me next", by expressing yourself in a calm and assertive manner you can begin to negotiate change. A change that includes the right to express your feelings, values and beliefs. And a change that includes the right to be treated with respect.