Negotiating: A disciplined, interpersonal process to find out what is of value to each of the parties.
The end game is to reach a mutually perceived "win-win", or "no deal" if a "win-win" is not possible.
Key Negotiating Skill: Emotional Intelligence that includes: 1.
Self-Awareness.
2.
Self-Management.
3.
Empathy, or, Understanding the "others' 95%.
" 4.
Social Skills - being able and willing to include the stakeholders to their satisfaction, and 5.
Leader Assertiveness - knowing when to push, when to hold and when to fold.
Always: (a) Keep in mind, "What is of value to the other side? What is the desired outcome of the other side?" and (b) Start preparing and planning any negotiation with my desired outcome in mind (my goal) - write it down.
Move, but not too fast.
1.
    The words, and terminology critical - eliminate words like, "should", "I can't", from the conversation.
Use words like "I wonder if ...
", "Would it be possible ...
", "Help me understand ...
", Please elaborate ...
" 2.
    Steer away from price proposing.
Go for value-based or solution-based exploration.
One phrase, "What would happen if you did nothing?" 3.
    What are the values to the customer - personally and career-wise? 4.
    If I'm purchasing, "Please give me a quote.
" 5.
    When I am "selling" - do not quote, always negotiate to mutually agreeable terms.
6.
    Proposal implies negotiation (clearly there is a problem - what can I propose for a solution that will relieve your pain, or better yet anxieties).
7.
    When things get tense - SELF-MANAGE  - "Ok, I see we have a problem.
Uuumm - are you willing to explore this together to find an agreeable solution?" If, "No.
" Explore the "No.
" If "yes.
" Help the person out of the corner they may have painted themselves into.
a.
    Attempt to find out the other person's offer first.
b.
    Focus on value and profit contribution dollars - not just profit percentages.
c.
    Know the dollar value of my time - my heartbeats which I will never get back.
Only negotiate with the decision-maker.
d.
    The word "no" in a negotiation is often an opening negotiation position.
"No" can be an objection or a buying signal.
"Are their any conditions which would you consider _______ ?" Real-life example: Last week I got a "no" from a manufacturing client whose sales have plummeted in the last couple of months.
I know they have a good product.
i assume they will survive.
I asked if they had considered -- as an alternative to what they are doing? First question was, "How much will this cost?" I said (which I had worked out beforehand) "$1,000.
" I knew from our experience working together he was expecting about $40,000 - $50,000.
"Wow, yes let's talk.
" So what I will do is negotiate a commission based on future sales.
I am risking that they will be successful.
I know the product.
I think I will make about 4-5 times as much as my usual fee.
We'll see.
Risk nothing, get nothing.
I am demonstrating to these very entrepreneurial guys that I am entrepreneurial too.