Do your elderly parents continue to live in their own home? Are you concerned about their safety? Are you wondering how to prepare discussing a move with your loved ones? Researching an alternative living situation is very important before speaking to your parents.
We live in a wonderful time.
Though having three or four generations in one house is no longer the norm, we have great living options for our elderly parents.
We now have options of retirement apartments for those needing one meal a day and very little care, assisted living for much more care and nursing homes for twenty-four hour care.
If your parents are able to live alone but need someone nearby who checks on them throughout the day, consider a retirement apartment setting.
The closer to their existing home that you can find a place for them to live the easier and more acceptable the plan will be for your loved one.
This is not always possible, so also check out places that are near their children or grandchildren.
Keep in mind that any change to the elderly seems huge in their eyes, and let's face it, moving for any of us is stressful.
Make appointments with the administrators at each place to get a tour, and valuable information, in order to make decisions.
Do not assume that each place will have the same amenities.
Ask general questions, such as how many meals are served each day, to ones that your parents might ask.
If your mother is an avid reader make sure you ask if there is access to a library.
If your parents enjoy playing cards find out if there is a group gathering to do that on a regular basis.
When you go to inquire always arrive early and sit in a room, such as a day room or entrance, where residents are gathered.
You will want to visit with them regarding their personal feelings about food and care there.
When you are ready to approach your loved ones, have brochures and notes in hand.
Do not set up a special time to talk to them, but rather work it into a conversation.
This will remove some of the stress of guessing what you want to talk about before you arrive.
Let them know that you have spent the past few days looking at some options for better care then you are able to give them.
Be calm and be patient.
Often times the first thing out of their mouths will be, "I'm fine right here.
" You need to be prepared to explain to them your concerns about their health and safety.
Remind them that you love them and you are trying to help them make a decision regarding a move before they are not able to make it for themselves.
This is really key, it removes the feeling of resentment that they will have if they think you have 'sent' them to this new place.
Be upfront and honest about talking to a couple of residents and what they had to say.
Let your parents know that you have researched several places and what you thought they would like about each one.
Mention if you bumped into anyone there that you, or they, know that were residents.
Write down any questions that they have that you might have forgotten to ask.
If they get upset, again remind them about safety issues and the relief of knowing that someone would be nearby if they should fall.
Taking care of elderly parents is a challenge, however keeping their best interest at heart will make the decisions easier.
Make comparisons between living at their home and living elsewhere.
Remind them that that home ownership creates a lot of decisions and with apartment living someone else is responsible to take care of the day to day problems that go on.
This stage of life is difficult for everyone, so take the time to check out as many possibilities as you can.
Tread lightly with kindness and patience, after all, who raised you to be the thoughtful person you have become?