It is heart breaking to think that one's child is viewed with disdain by other children because one's child cries so easily.
Parents should take heart, though, the child who is typically thought of as a crybaby is usually a very sensitive and empathetic person, attributes that can lead to very happy and fulfilled lives.
Background The word crybaby itself is filled with negative connotations.
It indicates that the child is somehow less emotionally mature than other children of the same age.
Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that this extreme sensitivity is genetic and therefore runs in families.
It is often noticed very early in the child's life with things like sensitivity to sound and lights, and these children can be extra-sensitive to itchy diapers or clothing.
On the positive side, these children are generally very sensitive to the emotions that others are experiencing and they develop great empathy for other children and animals, especially.
Interestingly, while parents tend to notice how easily they are moved to tears, research indicates that they are just as easily moved to laughter and actually laugh more than other children.
In essence, they experience emotion more strongly than others.
While toddlers, overall, experience more emotional swings and dramatic displays of emotions, this is generally due to their lack of ability to express themselves.
Just like toddlers, children who are extremely sensitive tend to cry when they are overwhelmed emotionally.
While adults and older children are usually annoyed by this behavior, other toddlers and preschoolers generally are not.
Researchers have found that in most cases it is the adults around these sensitive children who are most negatively affected.
Parents tend to overreact to the emotional outburst of the child who may appear to be crying for no reason.
However, researchers point out that the crying child always has a reason, even if it is just emotional overload.
Tips For Parents Researchers have some suggestions for parents when dealing with a child who is emotionally sensitive:
- Be matter-of-fact when explaining new situations or activities.
Over-emphasis on things that may upset a child through talking to the child before an event may actually make the reaction worse by encouraging the child to dwell on the question of why the parent is mentioning something over and over.
Just the facts, ma'am. - Never discourage the child from crying.
It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's very important.
The child is very sensitive and the crying is an outward sign that the child is overwhelmed.
Telling the child not to cry will only cause more upset and tears. - Parents should make sure they are not unintentionally reinforcing crying.
Some kids start to learn that crying is the only way they get attention, much like the child who misbehaves to get attention.
The best plan is to pay extra attention to the child when he or she is behaving appropriately. - Parents need to teach alternatives to crying.
Emotionally sensitive children focus on the emotions of any situation which can lead to crying, so try focusing the child on behaviors that can be changed.
For example, if crying came from a dispute over playing with a toy with another child, discuss calmly other ways to handle things, such as taking turns. - Role-playing activities that typically end in tears can be another good tool for emotionally sensitive children.
Helping the child see alternatives and practice using them can help the child keep his or her emotions in check.
No matter what, the emotionally sensitive child is not going to stop being sensitive, but parents can help the child find alternatives to crying.
Parents can help the child develop their sensitivity into a positive tool that can benefit them throughout their lives.