When two parties take their disagreement to a mediator, unlike taking a dispute to court, the family mediation process of coming to an agreement does not need to be extremely rigid and formal. On the contrary, there is a relatively large amount of flexibility built into the system, since the thinking behind the mediation procedure is based on helping parties work out their differences without the need for a third party to make a decision.
There remains a necessary element of structure in order to define the direction of the discussions as indeed mediation is a particularly flexible process. Over issues that may distract them from cooperating, without enough structure, opposing parties can easily get carried away with arguments. Here is the basic steps of the mediation process.
1) To Both Parties, Mediator Introduces the Process - More than just an ice-breaker is the mediation introduction, and saying "if I were an animal the animal I would be is a...", at no point does everybody go around the table. To explain to everyone the mediation process is rather the mediator's job in the introduction, and during the process, how they are expected to act. For example, it is important to set up rules such as this from the beginning, there are certain stages in the process where everyone is expected to listen quietly to the other party without interrupting.
2) Statements- This is probably the stage that you will most look forward to, if you are thinking about hiring a mediator. Here you, and the other party, in your own words and from your own perspectives, present your case. One need not get nervous about this thing here, but in order that you don't carelessly mis-define the issues, it is important to present your case accurately.
3) Discussion- A cordial and discussion focused on solution takes place, now that everyone has had a chance to present their perspective. Here to keep the direction of the negotiations directed towards finding an agreement, it is the mediator's job. Skipping the next two steps, if this stage goes very well it is sometimes possible right in the discussion stage, to come to a final agreement.
4) Private Caucus- It is time for the mediator to meet with each party individually, once everyone has gotten a chance to hash out the bottom of the issues. How strong their case is and what they really have the right to expect during discussions, during the individual meetings the parties are able to discuss with the mediator.
5) Negotiations- Just like it sounds, before signing on the bottom line to make an agreement, the negotiations are the final stage of discussion in family law mediation.
6) Closure- It does require closure, although ending the mediation relationship is not as heart-wrenching as breaking off a beloved relationship with a loved one.