Copyright (c) 2009 Vin DiCarlo

I love music most of the times, I'll need to listen to music just to get motivated to do things like work, or go for a run, or even before I go out with friends.

Music is an important part of my life, as I'm sure it's an important part of yours.

Mostly I like jazz, but I also like rap and rock. Over some years later I've realized.

The lyrics in these genres of music usually give the WORST advice when it comes to women.

If it's not some rapper talking about how he gets girls by buying them stuff and showing off his jewelry, it's some indie-rock dude whining about a girl who broke his heart and made him depressed.

Now when I hear this stuff, I laugh. I mean, I get into the music, and I'll even sing along sometimes.

But the mindset behind these kinds of lyrics is not just ignorant - it's SHAMEFUL to hear another man talk this way!

When I was a bit younger, I really go on with the lyrics every time I heard the songs.

Crap like:

"I just wanna tell you how I feel, giiiirllll, ooooh"

Or

"You broke my heart and now my life is over, whaaah"

Or

"I'm so rich, I buy champagne, and impress that bitch" (I know, I can't rap, but you get the idea)

My idea of how to talk to women was either to be "smooth," whatever that means (usually guys think it means lowering your eyelids and licking your lips)...

Or be sensitive and approach a woman how crazy I was about her...

Or try to impress her with how much money I (didn't) have!

And I see guys doing the same thing...in 2008! It's obviously still a mystery to most guys WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT.

This is the worst things that you will probably do! By not doing anything at all you'd probably have better luck. You know what I mean, right - working off your butt just to get a woman to know you're alive.

Only for her to give you a polite smile and turn away to talk to some other, more confident guy.

And guess what - by trying half as hard as he can(if at all), the woman end ups sleeping with him, NOT YOU!

And it's all because you were seeking approval, and made it apparent with your persona.

You have to retrain your brain to think in a way that is conducive to escalation.

The thing is, it's not "hard.The one that REALLY WORK is NEVER hard.