When telling your child/children about your divorce it is important to stress your love for them.
Some couples may do this together when the children are young.
Divorce is a disintegration of the family unit and seems like the end of the world, at least through the eyes and heart of a child.
Children do not understand divorce so it has to be explained simply.
Allow your child to ask questions and to express themselves.
Every child reacts differently At first it may seem that they took it well.
No tantrums, no tears.
You breathe a sigh of relief.
Not so fast! They may be reacting to you - not the situation Problems may arise later and they may act out in school and with their friends.
You must talk to them and let them know that they are not to blame for the break up.
Many children from divorced homes feel guilty because they feel that they are the cause of the break up.
Maybe because they misbehaved Mom and Dad broke up.
They may feel guilty if they take sides.
Is it okay to still love Mommy? Or Daddy? Children need all the support and stability you can provide.
Be there for them, answer their questions.
Children need to have a routine and a stable environment.
Do all you can to reassure them.
Its okay for your children to know how you feel.
Just dont over do the drama as that can overwhelm them.
Try to keep yourself as calm as possible.
Your children can be a source of comfort to you.
However, your children are not your friends.
Don't burden them with too much information.
You need to protect them from the toxic elements.
When you want to truly vent, call a close friend, meet outside the home and rant all you want.
Make a pact with your ex NOT to bad mouth one another in front of the children.
Children have the right to love both parents and putting them in a position to judge you or your ex is very damaging to them.
It's a good idea to let your childrens' teachers know about the divorce.
This way the teacher can be aware and look for signs of trouble.
If your child starts acting out and your concerned, contact a family therapist.
If your children are open about their feelings and feel safe sharing those feeling they will come through the divorce better adjusted.