How do you measure up as a spouse or partner? Unfortunately, especially when problems arise, people often are so busy counting and pointing out their partner's faults and shortcomings that they fail to take a good look at their own attitude and behavior.
Some questions to ask and seriously consider are: What would it be like to be married to you? What would it feel like to be talked to, the way you talk to your partner? Would you like to be treated the way you treat your partner? If you take a careful look, you may find a couple of areas that could use a little improvement.
You may want to focus on being more patient, kind or helpful.
Become aware of your own behavior and how it might be perceived by your partner.
Self-awareness is the beginning of a healthy self-esteem and a healthy self-esteem makes you a better partner.
If you each live so that you are an asset in the other's life, your relationship will be a much more pleasant place to live.
When you hoe your own row and let your partner hoe his/hers you will probably find much more growth and harmony.
Criticism, nagging and other negative exchanges are the worst possible way to motivate people.
Some may excuse themselves by saying that their partner brings out the worst in them.
And it is true that some people seem to, in effect, turn each other into monsters.
However, it is important to recognize that you, and only you have control over your behavior and if your partner is controlling your behavior, it is because you have given your power to them.
It is time to stand on your own two feet and decide the kind of person you want to be.
It is time to act rather than react.
If you want to be thought of as a kind and thoughtful person, then behave in a kind and thoughtful way.
If you want to be thought of as non-judgmental then stop judging others and even yourself.
Taking a good hard look at yourself and becoming aware of your strengths and limitations is not the same as judging yourself.
The one involves being realistic, learning from mistakes and growing as a person.
The other involves getting stuck in guilt, shame and blame.
Nathaniel Branden said, "One of the most significant characteristics of healthy self-esteem is that it is the state of one who is not at war either with himself or with others.
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