Updated August 06, 2015.
Here's a quick Tale of Two Doctors - my oncologists.
Number One oncologist was a great scientist, interested in the latest techniques and good at reading my latest lab tests. He would answer my questions, but not always in ways that I could understand. This oncologist would never meet my gaze. His staff was overworked, and the waiting room was full of patients who routinely waited an hour or more each visit, to get to see him.

Appointments were scheduled without consulting the patient, I was just handed a card and told what the schedule was.
Number Two oncologist was originally a general practitioner, who had also trained for oncology. He was also a member of the local American Cancer Society (a past president) and knew of local support services in my town. When he answered my questions, he watched me carefully, to see if I understood him, and when I didn't, he changed his terminology and helped me through each detail. His staff was always fairly happy, seldom overworked. The waiting room was a place that I never spent more than 15 minutes in, to see the doctor, or a nurse. The lady who sets up appointments always starts the process by asking; "What is going to work for you?"

So here's a quick list of some things to look for in a good oncologist:

• Good training and plenty of experience
• Honest and open communication skills
• Answers your questions in a way that you can understand
• Shares lab results and their explanations with you

• Present you with options for treatment
• Keeps appointments with reasonable punctuality
• Staff is happy and caring, takes time with you
• Appointments are scheduled for your convenience
• Phone calls are returned within the same day
• Emergencies are dealt with in a prompt and caring way

Here's a short list of some things to avoid in an oncologist:

• Conversations makes you feel "talked down to"
• Lab results are not shared with you, even if these are in your chart
• No explanation is offered for treatment decisions
• You are not given any options for treatment or schedule
• Waiting for an appointment is usually 30 minutes or longer
• Staff is always stretched and busy, with no time for individual patients
• Phone calls are not returned until a day or two later
• Emergencies are handed off to the local ER