Getting dumped by a guy is no less painful than a solid, swift kick in the gut. It's that lingering ache of the ego that is harder to deal with especially when we feel as if our naivete got the best of us. If we women truly understood the reasons why men leave, we probably wouldn't find ourselves in this position.

We can't expect to learn the real reasons from our men. We have to wise up. If we know, going in, the reasons why men leave, we ought to be able to avoid the big dump or, better yet, we'll unlock the code for what men really want in their relationships.

Whether you are trying to avoid the big dump or you want your ex back or your moving on to the next, this is mandatory reading:

Reasons Why Men Leave and How to Stop Them:

We're downers. We use our guys as a garbage disposal for all of the stuff we want to unload. If it's not something going on at work, it's girlfriend issues, family issues, or life in general. Add to that, the snipping and complaining we do when our boyfriends disappoint us. That leaves little time for being positive and uplifting. Men grow very weary of downers in their lives.

Solution: Stop it! It's up to you to deal with the negative issues in your life. Men don't mind being a sounding board and, as a best friend, they don't mind offering support. When you cross the line, however, and become a constant source of negativity that is a real turn-off.

The passion is gone. It is not uncommon for couples who have been together for a while to leave their passion at curb. We're not just talking about passionate sex, although that too does suffer. If the once felt passion for the relationship dies, the man will take his cue from the woman and pull away.

In the beginning, passion came easy, but as time goes on, and the mundane sets in, keeping the passion takes some work - but it's worth it. Heck, it's more fun too!

Solution: Renew the passion! Make it about the relationship - not you, not even him. Find a way to celebrate being together each day - it just takes 5 minutes a day.

Lack of communication. We always think that it's the man who doesn't communicate. After all, we seem to do most of the talking, right? That's the problem. Good communication is 90% listening. And, even if we think we're listening, we probably aren't really hearing them. When men don't feel understood, they begin to feel helpless and they don't like that feeling.

Solution: Shut up. Rather, make a point of asking open ended questions and then shut up. Let him answer and encourage him to go on. Open ended questions like "What did you think when that happened to you?" encourage open ended answers. Don't judge. Don't offer advice. Just let him know you heard him.

They're suffocating. Let's face it. Guys need their space. They need to be able to do guys things - with guys, and, they like to crawl into their man-cave every now and then. If they feel as if the relationship is all-consuming of their time, space and attention, they begin to suffocate and they lose some of their passion for the relationship.

If your guy feels as though he's being smothered, chances are, you're not getting your own healthy dose of girl time. Lacking the necessary balance of me and we time a relationship can sour pretty quickly

Solution: Get social. Expand your horizons. The more you can develop your own social connections and personal interests, the less time you'll need to spend with him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so you're reunions should spark some more passion.

They've been knocked off their pedestal. Men are funny creatures. They want to appear strong and independent, yet the one thing most men crave is admiration, especially from their woman. They want to know that you appreciate their contributions and respect their accomplishments.

The more we take our guys for granted, the less praise they get from us. The problem is that there may be some chick in the secretary pool giving him all of the praise he needs which is why he may be working late hours.

Solution: There is always something that can be done or said each and every day that demonstrates to your guy how much you admire, respect and appreciate his existence in your life. Just make it habit. Careful, though, it needs to be sincere.

When you understand why men leave and, how to stop them, the chances are that they won't, or you can get them back if they have. My advice is to not leave it to chance. Why not have a steady hand guide you through the complex dynamics all fragile relationships need. I found mine through http://www.ReviveOurLove.com