- 1). As soon as you and your spouse separate, or when you want a temporary custody order, go to the courthouse and file the papers for a temporary custody order. The clerk can give you more information.
- 2). When your papers are filed, the court will give you a date--usually within a week or two--when you and the child's other parent will appear before a judge. This won't be a custody hearing--it is just the parents and the judge.
- 3). During the time you have before meeting with the judge, prepare a parenting plan or custody agreement. This plan should include what type of custody and visitation schedule you want for the temporary custody time and any parenting provisions you want included.
- 4). Think about what you will tell the judge about your plan. You need to be prepared to explain why your plan is in the child's best interest. For example, if you want the majority of the custody time because you have always been the caregiver, write out a list of all the ways you take care of the child and what you are in charge of. Prepare any other documents that will help you explain your side to the judge.
- 5). The day of the meeting, dress professionally. Gather together your parenting plan and any other documents you need. Have them nice and easy to read. Be prompt to the meeting--you can even be a few minutes early.
- 6). Explain your plan and any other information to the judge. Be polite and attentive when the other parent speaks. Be willing to work with the other parent and make some compromises--but don't just give into what the other parent wants because you think this is temporary (the temporary order has a big impact on the final custody order). Be flexible, but stand up for your rights.
- 7). The judge will issue a temporary custody order. The order will say how long it lasts--usually a few months. Then you will have another court day to establish your permanent order.
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