Stop for a moment and consider this relationship - Paul works extremely long hours - he enjoys work but primarily in the current climate he is making sure he is not one of those people that his company is considering making redundant, his partner Carla spends all of her time looking after their two children - cooking, washing, taking them to school and acting as a taxi for their very busy social lives! Now Paul feels that she does not have time for his needs and is not interested in him any more

So what do you think? - Can this relationship be saved? Should this relationship be saved? Personally I think this describes many relationships in this day and age (perhaps it even describes your relationship) and I think it should be saved, so here are 5 steps which could really save this relationship.

1 - First step is to decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Truth is, whilst every relationship can be saved with a little hard work, ultimately both parties must decide and agree that they want to make things work - If one of the partners has opted out and does not want to opt back in again, then the reality is that little can be done.

Unfortunately too many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient, or because of the children - but that really is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment from both parties that they both think the relationship is worth saving.

2 - The next step is to identify what the actual problem - or even problems there are in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in How to Save a Relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

Now most people would say that an affair is a problem that causes a relationship to break up - however the reality is that the affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem within the relationship itself. For instance a lack of true intimacy between the partners can lead to one of them straying, now the injured party may well say - well the affair was what caused us to break up, when the actual truth was that there was no intimacy between the two partners.

By not dealing with the intimacy issue, all you are doing is putting the problem off to raise itself again in the future, now the future problem may well not be another affair, but it could be another problem - and this is all because you have not dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

3 - Now that the core issues are on the table, you can start to share your thoughts. This not only means verbalizing your own feelings but also allowing your partner to do the same thing and listening to their concerns. One great piece of advice here is to make sure you hold your partners hand when you are talking about your problems as a sign that you want to re-connect even when your emotions are all over the place, but remember when your partner talks about things that hurt you - they are not doing this because they want to hurt you, but because they want to improve the relationship.

4 - Create an action plan - now that you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan on how to save your relationship and solve the problems. Then, make sure you take concrete steps to put your plan into action. If you don’t spend time together like you used to - then plan at least one date every week and make sure you stick to it. Both of you take turns in coming up with creative things to do on that night. Maybe talking or not communicating is the issue - well then plan to spend some regular time (perhaps before you go to bed) with no other distractions such as TV or even the kids! and talk.

5 - Finally, saving a relationship is not a one time throw away thing - it is an ongoing process and at times it may seem like trying to push water up hill! - You may take two steps forward only to take one step back - but hey if it is worth saving then it is worth going through a little pain - there is going to be equal measures of laughter and tears going forward. So remember to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

So after all of that - is your relationship worth saving? Is your relationship very similar to the relationship outlined at the top of this article? If so then I have detailed a number of steps on how to save a relationship.