- Writing a letter may be the best solution for getting her back. Produce a hand-written letter that details personality traits that you love about her. Also, because dates and events are likely important to her, cite some of your favorite dates or times together, or reference a time you knew was important to her and mention that it was important to you too. Mention details if possible, as it lends validity that you remember the date. Last, write about areas of the relationship, such as listening or communicating, where you could have performed better. Do this without justifying or blame-shifting your actions, such as "Even though you pushed me to it, I should have handled our fight better." Regardless of specifics, the letter's content should be honest. Don't say things you don't mean; doing so means you haven't fixed some of reasons you broke up in the first place. This can lead to another breakup.
- If she is willing, plan a casual day--not date--out. Plan this day to consist of things and places your ex-girlfriend likes, such as her favorite coffee shop, boutique and deli. This outing will place less pressure on her than a date, and give you a chance to show her you paid attention to her likes and dislikes. During this outing, the conversation may drift to the breakup. If it's discussed, admit your faults without lending justification to them. Discuss how your actions were unhealthy or counterproductive, and mention ways you could have done better. Your ex may agree with what you said, outwardly express her agreement or get negative feelings off her chest. Don't get angry or point out her faults; listen to what she says. If you stay casual and civil, you are in good standing to suggest another outing.
- A gift basket that you make yourself will show her you listened closely to her likes and dislikes. It also shows you understand her personality. Purchase a container you think she'd like. For instance, choose a stationery box in her favorite color if she's into organization, or a hand-painted pail if she into gardening or flowers. Next, purchase a variety of smaller items that you know she values. Make these highly personal if possible. If you know she loves a certain brand of lip gloss, coffee, tea or pony-tail holders, purchase those. Fill the basket with these trinkets, as well as a hand-written card and her favorite flower. Send this in a package to her home, as bringing it to her may be too imposing.
- If your busy schedule was at fault, or if she complained you didn't make her a priority, take a day off mid-week if possible. If not, schedule to meet her after work on a weekday, so she knows you're taking time out of your weekly schedule to be with her. Keep this day casual, going for lunch or a movie. Try to discuss the happy times if the conversation flows toward your breakup. Regardless of the conversation, communicate with her, especially if she was the "talker" in the relationship. This shows you are interested in what she has to say, and you can communicate your thoughts and feelings.
- While attentive gestures are helpful, don't push the communication into uncomfortable boundaries. Avoid multiple texts or calls, especially late at night, and don't show up to her house uninvited. This can scare her and lend a "creepy" vibe to your sincere attempts. If an amends takes place, remember you can't change what occurred before the breakup. Focus on the future with her and how you can do better.
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