On the day of discovery you feel anger, tears running down your face followed by a real devastating heartbreak.
But dealing with infidelity is not just a matter of 'leaving him' or divorce.
It doesn't work like that.
Whatever it is, you know you're in a mess, and you want to get out of it.
There might have been a lack of intimacy in the marriage, or there might be other underlying reasons on why infidelity strikes your marriage or relationship.
But let's have a look at this more closely, and maybe if you deal with it the right way, there is a chance to work things out rather than throw everything away over one mistake.
Now maybe you are very sure, or maybe you are just beginning to have a little hunch or suspicion.
The first step is of course, find out for sure whether or not your spouse is cheating.
A "hunch" isn't proof! Just because you saw him having regular lunches with one of his work colleagues does not mean he is cheating for sure.
Or just because you haven't had intimacy for a while doesn't mean he's cheating.
Your partner might just be tired, stressed at work or have another reason for their lack of interest in bed.
No matter what, it's not very easy to sustain affair for a very long time.
So in terms of finding out, sooner or later you are bound to know.
So what do you do if you find out he is really cheating? Most people would not be dealing with infidelity the right way.
They shout, scream, tell the world, pack their bags and throw them out.
Or they may get violent.
Dealing with infidelity varies from person to person, but first you have to calm down.
Trust yourself that you will recover from this blow even though you know that there is that pain you cannot ignore.
Communication is key and though it is not possible to rebuild trust and recover tomorrow, you need to start somewhere.
Find forgiveness within your heart, make commitment with each other, talk it out on what you want to do and what your options are with each other.
And most importantly, find out the root cause.
What is missing in your marriage? And you can only know by talking with each other in an open and honest communication session.
If your partner admits to feeling neglected or ignored, try to spend more time together.
And even if you think you've already spent enough time together, your partner may not.
The whole 'what makes someone happy in relationship' is relative, and you need to get to the bottom of it.
You need to know what is bothering your partner.
Remember, dealing with infidelity is much more effective when both parties are involved.