Maybe this sounds familiar to you.
Bob works a lot and often comes home tired.
Kathy gives all of her time to the kids and keeping up with cooking, cleaning and laundry.
Neither one feels that the other is meeting their needs.
Communication is lacking and both think maybe it is time to call it quits.
Can this relationship survive? I say yes, it can.
Almost any relationship can be saved, but both people have to want to save it on some level.
It will take a lot of work and most likely a lot of tears but also some laughter.
The most important step in how to save a relationship is pinpointing the real problem or problems.
It is often difficult to do as most people see the symptoms of the problems as the problems themselves.
Take cheating for example.
The cheating is a symptom of a lack of true intimacy in the relationship.
Unless you deal with the root problem it is possible that the same or other symptoms might arise.
Once the primary problem or problems have been identified, rather than the symptoms, then the relationship can be saved.
Communicating your thoughts concerning the problems is the next step.
This means sharing your own feelings with your partner, as brutal as they may be, but just as importantly, listening to your partner's concerns as well.
It is not easy to hear some of the things that will be said.
Keep in mind that these feelings are not intended to hurt you but are intended to be honest and improve the relationship going forward.
Try to keep attacks to a minimum but be honest with the things you need to say.
After communicating with each other about the problems the two of you need to create a plan of action to solve the problems.
This plan needs to be detailed and then the steps need to be followed.
In our example there was a communication problem.
A possible solution could be to plan to make time each day to talk with your partner about anything that is on your mind.
It could be as little as 15 minutes or as long as you have available.
It will likely become a highlight of your day.
Stick to it no matter what.
The final step is never stop working on the relationship.
Taking things for granted and letting pieces of your life get in the way and take over is how the problems started in the first place.
Do not let it happen again.
Try to go keep in mind what things were like in the beginning of your relationship, what things you loved about your partner, how new everything was.
Try to look at your partner through those same eyes.
Consider that you are always saving the relationship.
It is an ongoing process.
There will be times when it will seem like you are not moving forward.
But take the laughter and the tears and make your relationship stronger one day at a time.