1. A Dip and You're Done
Unlike other religions like Christianity where conversion can be a simple process of baptism, Judaism requires many steps to convert. Here's a basic look at the process:
- Learning: An individual who wishes to convert to Judaism usually starts by finding a sponsoring rabbi and studying the laws, traditions, holidays, and observances of Judaism. Of course, the depth of study will vary depending on whether an individual chooses Reform, Reconstructionist, Conservative, or Orthodox Judaism. For example, an Orthodox plan of learning will include in-depth study of the laws of kashrut (dietary laws) and ?brachot (blessings), while a Reform plan of learning might focus more on Zionism and Tikkun Olam. The term of learning is usually a year, so the individual can experience an entire cycle of the Jewish holidays.
- Beth Din(rabbinical court of three): After roughly a year of learning, the potential convert will have a meeting with a rabbinic court whose members' statuses vary from movement to movement, as some require three Shabbat-observant men while others simply require three individuals be they men or women. The beth din will determine if the individual is ready for the next steps or needs to do a bit more learning or evaluation before proceeding.
- Brit Milah or Hatafat Dam Brit: For men, an actual or symbolic circumcision is required by some movements and not by others. What this means is that an individual who was circumcised at birth who is not Jewish will have to have a ceremonial ?brit milah, typically in the Conservative and Orthodox movements but also in some Reform communities. Women have no similar requirement.
- Mikvah: The culmination of the entire process is a visit to the mikvah, or ritual bath. The process for this varies from community to community. In Orthodoxy, the first of three standard dunks in the mikvah is typically done with the three rabbis of the beth din in the room with their backs turned to the mikvah for purposes of modesty. The convert usually has on a porous robe (so the water will touch every part of the body) and the mikvah attendant watches to make sure the first dip is "kosher" (i.e., that the individual is fully submersed). After the first dunk, the three rabbis leave the room and the individual can dunk as many more times as he or she chooses. In the Reform movement, the three witnesses of the beth din usually are not in the mikvah room, but listen from an outer chamber to hear the dunk.
So, as you can see, there's a lot more involved in the process than meets the eye!
2. Mess up? Conversion Revoked!
Nope. Sorry. Once you convert to Judaism, that conversion cannot be revoked for any reason other than fraud. In reality, the only times a conversion has truly been revoked have been in cases of Christian missionaries who "infiltrate" the Jewish community in order to move to Israel and pursue their mission of conversion from within the Jewish community there. Even if you stop keeping kosher or marry a non-Jew, the reality is that you're viewed as if you've sinned just as any other Jew and are treated as such.
The reality is that there is no halachic (Jewish legal) basis for the annulment of a conversion. Read more about the history, background, and basis for the argument ...
3. You'll Be Turned Away Three Times
Although many rabbis do observe the practice of turning a potential convert away three times (popularized by Sex and the City), there's no true basis for this in Jewish law. The tradition for this practice comes from the Book of Ruth, where Naomi turns Ruth away three times before finally accepting the reality that Ruth is serious about joining Naomi's tribe.
The reasoning behind turning a curious individual away or asking them to leave, think about it, and then come back is to "test" for sincerity. Rabbis, after all, are the gatekeepers of Judaism and simply seek to make sure that someone starting on the journey to Judaism is prepared for the journey, the life, and the repercussions of converting (e.g., changes in familial relationships).
If you get turned away, don't count on it happening three more times. Simply reassess your approach, make sure you're serious, and contact the rabbi again to get started.
4. Converts Are Never "Really Jewish"
There's a lot of negative press about the plight of the convert to Judaism, specifically that no matter how many hoops you jump through and no matter how "Jewish" you act or become, the community will never truly accept you. The belief that the convert will always be an outsider is -- a majority of the time -- not true.
The reality is that acceptance varies from community to community and from Jew to Jew. Although there are many who struggle with understanding why anyone would want to convert to Judaism and thus question the sincerity of the convert, the overall community of Jews worldwide tends to be accepting, welcoming, and understanding of the ger. Jews who know the Torah know how the convert is portrayed and are familiar with the dictum to "love the ger" because Jews (Israelites) were strangers in a strange land once, too.
Although there are plenty of converts who end up feeling outcast, alone, and not accepted because of unrealistic expectations from the get-go or a hope that conversion will solve problems of general belonging, there are support groups around the web and on social media that provide guidance, advice, and suggestions for how to feel more connected to the greater community.