- 1). Acknowledge the cheating. The first step is to acknowledge that your partner has stepped outside the boundaries of your relationship and cheated on you. It is easy to ignore the obvious because of the fear of facing the pain. However, the process of healing and moving on begins with coming to terms with what has happened.
- 2). Work through your hurt feelings. An affair by your partner brings on a different range of emotions. The important thing is to remember that you have been wronged and it is OK to feel these emotions. Keep a journal and release your hurt and angry feelings by writing them down. This will give you an outlet for your emotions without being made to feel like they are misplaced.
- 3). Chanel your energy in a positive way. You may feel like curling up in a corner and feeling sorry for yourself. Remember that the cheating is not your fault regardless of what your partner may tell you. Blaming you is just a way to justify his or her bad choices. Find ways to make yourself feel worthy again. Revisit old favorite places or take up hobbies and activities that let you expend energy while making you feel better about yourself.
- 4). Seek counseling and therapy. A relationship counselor or therapist can help you work through the pain by offering a listening ear and support. If you are aiming to mend your relationship, couple's therapy is a great option, as a therapist will help each partner understand how he or she contributed to the problems in the relationship.
- 5). Forgive and move on. This may be difficult, but if you do not take this step, you remain with the anger and stay imprisoned by your partner's hurtful act against you. It may take a long time to get to the point of forgiveness. However, keep in mind forgiveness is not a way of accepting that what happened is OK; rather, it is a way to help yourself move on emotionally and/ or physically.
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