Avoiding one means avoiding all, especially when one is fresh from a break-up and feels that urge to get back with their lost love as soon as possible.
According to relationship psychologists, the more you try to win back your ex, the more they'll try to stay away from you.
And age or gender doesn't matter as this is a universal phenomenon.
This is because most people who are in this stage don't know what they're EXACTLY doing that's further ruining their chances of saving their broken relationship.
Mary had finally learned her lesson.
After a week of trying to get John back (and failing miserably), she took the time to seriously evaluate what she had been doing that was all wrong.
She obviously knew that she still loved her ex boyfriend and wanted to restore their relationship as it was before.
Yes, there were mistakes on both parties and while it appeared that she was to take a huge part of the blame for why they broke up, she didn't understand why no matter how hard and how often she apologized sincerely in front of John, all the more it felt like she was pushing him away.
Thankfully, Mary had a friend who happened to be a relationship counsellor, and when all hope was lost, she eventually decided to hear her friend's piece of advice.
It turned out to be shocking and enlightening at the same time.
She realized that she had been making all the wrong moves from the start.
All her actions - though sincere and heartfelt - just became a major turn-off to John and caused him to hate her all the more! Mary's friend made her know that the more she tried to win back her ex at a depressed, saddened or desperate state, most of the time things will just get worse and he will just run farther away and condition in his head that he doesn't want to be with her anymore.
She was given a list of the 3 major turn-offs that to her surprise, all of which she had already committed! Along with each turn-off came a short explanation.
1.
Texting, Calling, Emailing - stopping all forms of communication at this stage is important because emotional levels are often high and usually the things that you'll just end up talking about are past issues about your relationship and the possibility of getting back together again which, at this point, will do more harm than good.
2.
Apologizing Way Too Often - there is no problem in saying "sorry" to another person, especially if it's from the heart.
However, apologizing over and over again and hoping that you'll be forgiven and everything will turn out fine in the process will again, do you no good.
You might even end up and take the blame for everything that went wrong just for the sake of saving your relationship, but you know by now that's not a healthy move.
3.
Begging - similar to the last point, 99% of the time this will do nothing but push your ex further away.
Rarely does begging or pleading work.
Most people who beg for a job raise or desperately plead to have a spot in their sports team often get NO as an answer.
The same thing's true with relationships.
While it may be sincere, it's still a major turn-off.
Mary's friend knew that she was starting to get back on the right track as she summed up everything in one sentence: "Stop everything that I'm doing right now to get my ex boyfriend back!" After a few days of taking a real break, relaxing and calming down her senses, her friend then showed her the next positive step towards winning back her ex.