So many of us have tried and failed at weight loss after menopause. Heck, many of us have tried and failed at weight loss our whole lives. Menopause feels like it adds to the problem - while we pack on the pounds.

My personal experience is no different. I know in the past when I have tried to lose weight, it often backfired. Yep, I would actually gain weight while trying to lose it. Nothing feels more defeating than that, let me tell you.

I finally figured out that dieting simply doesn't work. Then I started wondering why. Being a nutritionist and weight loss expert, as well as a wellness coach led me to some pretty interesting answers.

• Deprivation leads to binging

• Calorie restriction leads to a sluggish metabolism, followed by weight gain

• Artificial sweeteners lead to excessive hunger and cravings

• Over-exercising results in inflammation and weight gain

• Cutting out entire food groups (grains or fats usually) causes nutrient deficiencies and cravings

When you have a diet plan that asks you to restrict your calories, you feel deprived. If you are rebellious, like me, when someone tells me I can't have something I want it even more!

Desiring something sweet often leads to artificial sweeteners to avoid calories. Those artificial sweeteners are shown in scientific studies to lead to excessive hunger. Over-exercising to burn more calories leads to more than just sore muscles, including inflamed joints and even weight gain. Nutrients in a variety of foods are necessary for good health, so cutting them completely from your diet will lead to deficiencies over time. Avoid these diet traps.

So what constitutes a good all-around diet, one for a life-time, not just a quick fix to get off excess pounds? Here's my take on that question.

• Eat the rainbow everyday. This means you will be eating lots of vegetables and fruits. If you are diabetic, limit fruit to 3 or less a day to avoid excess blood sugar spikes

• When eating grains, make them whole grains without flour. Steel-cut oats are a favorite. Ezekiel bread, made with sprouted grains is another product I recommend to clients.

• Fats are important, so be sure to get those everyday. Extra virgin olive oil is excellent. Fatty fish like sardines or salmon are good protein and fat choices. Avocado is a good choice and it also has potassium and fiber. Coconut oil is no longer considered a bad fat, due to its chemical composition. Lose your fear of eggs, the fat they contain is healthy too. Nuts are full of healthy fat and can be eaten for quick snacks.

• Protein is important, so eat it regularly throughout the day. Our body doesn't store protein. It is used for repair or converted into sugar or fat for energy. Small portions throughout the day keeps us happy.

• Exercise in moderation utilizing walking, strength training and stretching. Allow time to build up to a level of fitness that's right for you. Avoid injuries by learning proper form. Consider hiring a trainer to insure your form is correct and to help motivate you. Just don't let that trainer over-exercise you, especially at the beginning. Interview, interview, interview!

Overall, the best thing you can do if you want to stay at a healthy weight is to find a plan that works for you as a lifestyle, not a simple fix. Look for all the elements described above and you will achieve success.