Having worked and saved for your self-supporting retirement income is good not only for you but is a benefit to your kids and other family members. Keep that in mind when younger members ask for money. But sometimes the younger generation does ask financial aid from you. Here's how you might handle that...

-Thinking through a love one's request for money:

Think through a request for money before responding to it. Do so by considering two apparently contradictory points:

1. Lending - and sometimes gifting - money to family members can initiate family strife and hurt feelings,

2. One aspect of family is help when you need it.

You want to help him but think about the snags that being sloppy about your response.

If a family member asks for a loan, either he can't qualify for a conventional loan or wants a better deal from you. If he's just looking for a better deal, then the best policy might be a polite 'no' to avoid the strife of point 1 above.

On the other hand, if he can't qualify for a conventional loan, then he represents a risk of not being able to pay you back. If that's the case and you want to help him, then the issue is how much he needs and what he needs it for.

First off, if you can't afford to lose the money you would lend him, then giving him a polite 'no' is appropriate no matter what his need may be.

But if you can lend him the money and will not suffer any lifestyle loss if he defaults, then you can still give him a polite 'no'- again based on point 1.

Otherwise, you can either loan him the money or simply gift it outright to him. Let's consider each...

-Making a loan:

If you loan him the money, make it in a business fashion with the implied expectation that he'll pay you back. Make a direct loan to him or co-sign a conventional loan with him. That keeps if formalized and suggests to him that you expect him to pay it back.

For a direct loan, establish his financial status, a borrowing interest rate, a schedule for repayment, and some penalty terms for delayed payment. Co-signing a conventional loan is certainly a business arrangement.

-Making a gift:

If you decide to make it a gift, then say so clearly. If you consider it as part of your later bequest to him then say so and tell him you will adjust your will or trust appropriately.

-Offer advice:

Don't forget that your age carries with it a certain amount of experience and the wisdom that engenders. So whether or not you financially help him out, give him your advice where you think it will serve him well for his own sake. That's what family is for in the end.