Well situated on the train, with my luggage neatly stored in the seat next to me, and with my ticket safely placed in my pocket ready to be stamped, I quickly became bored as never before.
At least when the nature passing by outside the window turned into being the inside of a tunnel.
Sitting alone with four chairs at my disposal I had none in my immediate vicinity, but on my left hand side this lad was seated; a chap, but not one of the worst.
I estimated his age to be somewhere around 25, maybe less.
Philip aka Eivind: - Hey mate, do you have any idea when this train will arrive in Stokke? ('Stokke' pronounced with an extreme English accent) Chap: - Hei, eh, jeg ...
I mean, hello.
Eh, jeg ...
I don't know ...
really.
Philip aka Eivind: - That's OK mate, I'll figure it out on my own.
Thanks! *silence* Philip aka Eivind: - Eh, one more thing pal, you don't happen to know how big this Stokke is, do you? How many million people is living there? Chap: - Hehe, oh no, you're on the wrong field now my friend, I don't think it is millions of people in Stokke ...
Thousandwise of people maybe, but not millions.
Philip aka Eivind: - Oh, sorry, then I apologise for my ignorance.
I am sorry.
Chap: - Oh, that is no problem.
Where are you from? 15 minutes later and I had told the chap that my name was Philip, more precisely Philip Slabbert; and that I was from South Africa, more precisely Johannesburg.
I had also told him by then that I was in Norway for the first time, that I couldn't understand a word Norwegian, that my mother tongue was Afrikaans, and that the reason why I was in Norway was to do some 3D animation for a movie.
By then I had also figured out his English was poor, he lived in Hamar, he was educated to make furniture and that he thought Kenya was the capital of South Africa.
Yes, I knew what I had to deal with ...
It is sad and disturbing that the only way to get real contact with other Norwegians is to speak English to them ...
well, well.
After replying all kind of wicked questions, everything from 'why don't you got more tan' to 'how do you guys stay clean without showers', I was finding myself rather amused and started to ask some questions myself; figuring out what the Norwegian think about their own country, their language, their food and their government.
I also managed to get a detailed explanation on how to make brown cheese, why the paper clip was such an amazing invention and I was offered a 'snus'; whatever that is to be called in English, but it is a disgusting thing that Norwegians put into their mouth.
The whole trip, 3 hours or more, went smoothly.
Having nothing else to do I sat the whole trip and explained African traditions, gave a lection in how to barbeque properly, spoke Afrikaans in a faked phone call, explained the chap how to propose in Afrikaans according to tribe traditions, held a history lesson about Apartheid's history and fall, proclaimed South Africa as the best place in the world and I managed to convert this stupid fellow to support the local rugby team in Vanderbijlpark.
Besides, I also taught the guy some made up English words and said my opinion about Norwegians, Norwegian food and everything else regarding this cold country up north ...
so as you all hopefully have understood by now, I finally found an amusing way to travel in Norway; and I do advise anyone else reading this, except for chaps, to do the same thing when you have the opportunity.
...
just make sure that you don't meet any friends, which I almost did; but I managed to hide behind a pencil while they passed by.
Chap: - You know, if you spoke the language you would fit right in as a Norwegian.
You look just like any Norwegian boy.
Philip aka Eivind: - Oh, I get that all the time.
So long! (and thanks for all the fish)