First of all, you're probably wondering, "How much is a gazillion, anyway?" Good question.
It's quite simple.
A gazillion is a 1 followed by 37 zeroes and a disturbing Dr.
Evil-like cackle.
Twitter's great Million-Follower Challenge has finally exhausted itself.
So now that Ashton Kutcher (or @aplusk if you'd like to tweet him) has done his part to eradicate disease from the planet and CNN's gone back to its roots as the best darn political team on television, I'd like to up the ante a tad.
As my late mother might've said, "million schmillion.
" Obviously, the real challenge is a gazillion.
So this is in the spirit of those loons who pummel my DM box until I get carpal tunnel from deleting all of their spam messages about getting 16,000 followers in 90 days (and BTW if they all know how to actually get 16,000 followers in 90 days (peanuts compared to a gazillion mind you) then why do the people who send me these missives only seem to have like 73 followers, hmm?) Anyway, the good news is I've basically cracked the code on luring Twitter followers into your coven simply by watching the jocular camaraderie between @aplusk and @cnnbrk play itself out over the past few days.
Here goes.
Listen closely...
And BTW, the beauty of this method is you never have to actually engage your followers in discussion or even follow them back.
Geez, you don't even have to pay attention or login to Twitter really.
Just ignore everyone like a rock star and get on with your bad self.
All right, here it is-The key to getting a gazillion followers is simple.
Yet, like many simple things in life, it's not easy.
1) Become a world-famous television and film celebrity.
And it wouldn't hurt if you'd hook up with another world-famous celebrity just for symmetry 2) Start a worldwide cable television news network 3) Promote the 1 Gazillion Challenge heavily on your news network as a public service gesture to get the world's problems off of...
themselves 4) Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Yes, it will take a huge commitment of time, energy, money and...
other stuff, but with the magic of compound interest, in just 90 days you'll have 1 gazillion followers.
(actual results may vary) And then to give back, you should probably pick an obscure disease to eradicate from the planet (people love to read about other people doing good - as long as there's no commitment on their part of time, money...
or anything).
So get to work.
This should be fun.