We all face these setbacks, curve balls and unpleasant surprises from time to time, and it's how we choose to handle them that make all the difference.
Here are 9 steps to help you gracefully and effectively navigate your way free of these challenges: Step 1 - Notice This is what I like to call the "Oops!" moment: when you first realize that something isn't going the way you planned, or your feelings have been hurt, or your worst fear is coming true...
This is no time to play Captain Oblivious - the sooner you become aware that your life is derailing, the easier it is to get it back on track again.
Step 2 - Acknowledge Once you've noticed that things are not to your liking, it's time to acknowledge the situation.
It's okay (and actually quite healthy!) to admit that you're not happy with an aspect of your life, even if you're only admitting it to yourself.
Acknowledging how you feel about the situation will give you permission to look at it more closely and objectively.
Step 3 - Understand It's time to do a little research.
How did this situation happen? In retrospect, were there any warning signs you ignored or didn't see because you were distracted? Has something like this happened before? How do you feel about all this? Step 4 - Commit Decide right now if you are going to let this situation keep you down, or if you are willing to do whatever it takes to fix it.
No matter how upset you may feel or how powerless you may think you are, you DO have a choice! You don't have to know how you're going to fix it right now, just make a commitment to yourself that you WILL move forward.
Step 5 - Plan Figure out what you need to do, have or be to break free from this problem.
Do you need to set some boundaries? learn a new skill? get some help? process your emotions? release some unproductive habits? make amends? You don't have to do this on your own - consult a trusted friend or mentor, hire a coach, or find a therapist to help you develop your plan.
Step 6 - Act Now that your commitment and your plan are in place, it's time to take action.
If your plan is simple and short-term, do it now! If it's more complex and includes long-term goals, get organized and stay on track.
Step 7 - Release Once you have done your best to take action and fix the situation, it's time to let it go.
There's no need to dwell on past mistakes or disappointments - after all, you have the future to look forward to! Sometimes releasing the past means forgiving the person(s) who hurt you - and sometimes you may not yet be ready to do that.
Everyone processes at a different pace, so be true to your own feelings.
Step 8 - Review Now take some time to look at the big picture again - both the problem and your solution(s).
What would you have wanted to do differently in the original situation? You may want to write this down in a journal, to increase your chances of remembering your new strategy and being better prepared in the future.
Step 9 - Repeat Once you have completed the first 8 steps, breath a sigh of relief, bask in your sense of accomplishment, and vow to do it all again at the next sign of trouble! That's it! Following these 9 steps will help you to not only break free from those stuck or overwhelmed spaces - it will also help you to prevent a repeat of the same trauma and drama later on down the road.
"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you.
What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.
" - Mary Pickford