- 1). Figure out when you last felt good about yourself, inspired and happy. Has it been a year? Five years? 20 years? If your last happy moment was in high school, start by being honest with yourself about this. If the last time you felt good about yourself was when you had your second child or when you were married, do an assessment of why you aren't happy now.
- 2). Do something about it. This isn't always easy, and it varies from person to person, of course. For some, this means losing weight, hitting the gym or pool or running five miles, five days a week. For others, it means rejoining that French class you dropped out of last year, and for still others, it means having a conversation with the one person you need back in your life--your best friend, your father, your sister.
- 3). Don't expect that when your mojo returns it will be exactly the same. The happiness and optimism we feel at 20 often and perhaps invariably fades as we grow older. A man in his 40's, when asked what his definition of happiness was, told a younger companion, "The avoidance of pain and a reasonable amount of pleasure." Don't expect the moon when you are 40 or 50.
- 4). Once your mojo returns, work to sustain it. Even if you are slim, exercising once again will undoubtedly make you feel amazingly better right away. You need to keep it up, though, if you want to produce results (e.g. weight loss, toning) and maintain a positive outlook. Don't underestimate the value of endorphins rushing to the brain, especially when you're a bit "over the hill."
- 5). Share the mojo. If you're looking and feeling good, get one of your friends off her tubby tush and hit the gym together. She may glare at you as you pull the donut from her mouth, but thank you many times over when she fits back into her old jeans.
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