Family & Relationships Friends & Friendship

Got a Bad Friend? Here Are Some Ways to Tell



I like to focus on the good in life, like positive friends and solid friendships. But it’s also helpful to identify people who are bad for us. If someone is a bad friend it doesn’t mean they are a bad person, but it does mean they aren’t good for you personally and you should leave the toxic friendship you have with them behind.

Take a mental step back and use caution if you notice any of the following.

It could mean that person you hang out with all the time is a bad friend.

They Never Want to Do What You Want to Do

As friends you should trade off doing activities that you each enjoy. If one person is a movie freak and the other likes to hike, surely you can each have time to do what you love. But some people are too selfish to give the other friend an inch, so while they insist on doing their favorite things, they won’t show up when their friend asks them to do something.

People Who Are Only Supportive When Things Are Bad

It’s great to have a friend sympathize with you when life takes a turn, but what about when things improve? Do they still stick by you?

There are people out there who will be good friends to you until your life starts to improve. Then you’ll notice a change in them. They’ll be snarky, more biting in their comments, and incredibly negative to be around. These are people who secretly feel superior to you when your life is lousy and jealous when your life gets better.

You’ll recognize a friend like this because you’ll avoid telling them good news because they’ll try and ruin it for you.

A friend should be good to you all the time, even during the ups and downs.

They Take One Tiny Piece of Truth and Twist It So Bad It Suddenly Becomes Gossip

Gossip is a nasty thing in relationships, but some friends make it worse by manufacturing it. They might be so good at it, in fact, that they’ll take a piece of information that really is true and add just enough twists and turns to make is salacious or disparaging. Even if confronted, these people will stand behind the one element of truth they just twisted as a way to defend themselves.

People like this take a while to spot. You might give them the benefit of the doubt at first thinking that they just misunderstood something you told them, but eventually you’ll see that they’re more about the drama they get from spreading an untruth about you than about actually being your friend.

People Who Bring You Down, Down, Down

It’s normal for friends to go through a rough time and need you to help them out of it, but if someone is a downer all the time, they’re focused on themselves only and cannot be a good friend. You’ll recognize a friend like this because you’ll feel like your energy has been zapped, your outlook on the world is darker, and you suddenly feel bit hopeless.

People Who Leave You Lonely

There are some friends who just make you feel lonely. They don’t invite you out and they seem to have no time for you. If someone knows you’re alone and they don’t at least invite you to dinner, why kind of friend is that?

People Who Dump You When They Get a New Relationship

Have you ever had a friend who hounded you to spend time with them when they were single, but who completely blew you off once they were in a relationship? These people think friendship is something to do when they’re bored or not in love. They don’t get what real friendship is all about and as a result, they act like a bad friend.

People Who Say: “I’m Such a Bad Friend”

Some folks don’t have time for new friends, and while they might have great intentions of being a good friend they don’t exactly follow through on it. These people know they are being a bad friend to you and will probably tell you that at some point. Their conscience will tell them they shouldn’t make promises they can’t keep or accept the nice things you do for them because they aren’t invested in the friendship.

If you’re like me and you hear this, you’ll probably say, “No, of course you’re a good friend!” But wait to make sure it’s true before you give them a break on it. If they’re a bad friend, you don’t need to get upset with them but you should move on to someone who actually wants to be your pal.

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