Have you "dated" Chinese girls before? You may have taken them out on a "date" or even several "dates" only to be spurned in your advances. You probably paid for a few nice meals and spent a lot of time with them, thinking that things were going really well. Obviously she must like you a lot if she went out with you so many times! So then you try to kiss her and get hit with bitter rejection. That's because your "date" was more like an appointment.

The word date in Chinese literally means an appointment. It often has no romantic connotation whatsoever. From MDBG.net (fantastic Chinese dictionary site), the word 约ä¼?yuÄ"âEURDon't be surprised if she conveniently twists the context of this word to her advantage. The word itself serves to protect Chinese girls' interests. If you take them on a few dates and she decides there is no sexual/romantic connection there then she simply says she never thought there was any romantic implication! This may lead you to ask, "Well why is she going out with me if she never had any interest?"
This is where "face" comes into the discussion. If you know much about Chinese culture, you have certainly have heard of face before. Chinese girls think that by simply being with you they are giving you face. Just by being out in public with her she is doing you a service. This has a strong connection with a previous article I wrote about Chinese girls having a sense of entitlement. Only a Chinese girl can give you face, not the other way around.

The reason this causes such a problem is because Chinese girls maintain this mentality when they come over to the USA. It may take them over a year before they fully grasp the concept of "dating" in English. Obviously if you ask a girl on a date in English there is a romantic implication there, but it will take a Chinese girl some time to realize this. The way to combat this issue is to simply be honest with her and after a couple "dates" let her know that you have romantic feelings and avoid getting the run around.

It is important to realize that this isn't an isolated phenomenon. Translation can cause issues and you need to be careful of the language you choose in order to make your speech clear and concise. You have to be aware of simple things like calling a girl funny means that she is humorous in English, but in Chinese means weird or irregular. It is difficult to identify these problems without a little bit of research so go out there and learn some Chinese for yourself!