When thinking about the subject of controlling anger, I thought it would be helpful to identify the different expressions of anger, the various types of anger and the root cause of anger.
First of all, it is important to identify three common expressions of anger.
1.
Sarcasm - Sarcasm is often an expression of anger which can be veiled in humor and verbalized through demeaning and cutting remarks.
2.
Self-destructive lifestyle - Surrendering to a pattern of destructive choices can also be an expression of deep-seated anger.
For example, the man who continues to drink, jeopardizing his job, may be a man who given over to an attitude of anger resulting a life of self-sabotage.
3.
Rebellion - Rebellion is often an expression of anger.
Many times a teenager who seems to find every opportunity to buck against the system at home or school, often is a teenager who is angry, feeling rejected or marginalized.
In controlling anger, it is important to recognize three kinds of anger.
1.
Brooding - This is the kind of anger that has over time has settled deep in the heart of a person.
It is like a volcano, seemingly dormant but filled with hot lava, brooding, boiling, and just waiting to explode.
2.
Explosive - This type of anger are those outward expressions of anger.
It is when anger reaches this point where physical and or emotional damage is done to our relationships.
3.
Rage - This is the type of anger that when the dust has settled, the individual can't remember what was said or done.
They are literally beside themselves in rage.
Unfortunately, we consistently see far too many tragic examples of this expression of anger in the news.
In controlling anger, there are two primary detours that can lead us down the path of anger.
1.
When we perceive an attack against our significance - It could be a wife whose husband has violated her trust through an affair.
It could be someone who feels betrayed by a friend who discusses with others something that was shared in confidence.
Or, it could simply result from the guy who cut us off in traffic.
The bottom line is anger often results when somehow it is communicated to us that we are insignificant, unappreciated or unimportant.
2.
We feel we are losing control- Anger can also result when we feel like we are losing power over our lives.
Anger is an attempt to control the behavior of others.
Whether it is the temper tantrum that leaves in its wake a punched-in wall, or the more subtle "cold shoulder" silent treatment - Both actions are designed to exercise control by controlling others through our emotions.
The First Step to Controlling Anger.
We must first see the key to controlling anger is recognizing the root of anger is fear.
When we feel our significance is being attacked we fear we might experience rejection.
The underlying force of our anger when we feel we are losing control is the fear of some type of failure.
Our worth and security in God's love for us.
When we begin to embrace this truth, fear loses its hold.
The less fearful we are the less authority anger has over our lives.
There is a verse in the Bible that says, "There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
" Go to the One who loves you perfectly.
Let Him show you the source of your fears and the seat of your anger.
Allow His love to bathe your heart, washing away your fears and insecurities.
You can succeed in controlling anger and rejoice in His love.