Ever notice how few people ever reach the big anniversaries anymore - 50, 30, even 20 years? It is becoming increasingly rare to hear of couples stringing together a few decades of love with one another. Sometimes it is even tough to find couples who even make it past ten.

Several factors account for this disheartening phenomenon. For example, people are not getting married as early as they used to. And of course the greatest factor can be found in the rising rates of divorce. Couples who want the reach the golden years have the wave of statistics going against them.

Past the Petty

Marriages that are filled with petty disagreements are typical. No marriage is ever completely smooth sailing, but successful couples simply don't get caught up on the little issues - or at least rarely do. If small annoyances or habits routinely lead to fights, how then will major stuff be addressed?

Couples need to decide issues that are worth hammering through in detail and those that should simply be let go. Such decisions about what constitute the higher priorities depend on the individual personalities and needs of each partner. So talk those through, asking, "What's important to you?"

Say "Boom-Boom"

When times are tough (e.g. job loss, financial strain, long-term illness, etc.) it can be hard to keep spirits up and easy to forget all the great reasons that brought two people together as one.

It might sound a bit corny, but some couples benefit from having a code word to help ease tensions or at least send a positive reminder to the spouse. The code word doesn't have to make sense to anyone else and should be extremely personal. It can be something from a favorite movie or a reminder of a shared time together. It can be humorous or serious, but it just needs to have meaning.

Huh? You Say Something?

Nobody likes to be ignored but it happens in marriage. There is so much going on in people's lives that sometimes they don't hear questions or requests of the other. Couples who work at paying attention find the relationship goes a lot smoother. And it does take work.

When a spouse makes a request, his/her beloved should make every effort to acknowledge it. Those who ignore each other or routinely neglect requests will breed resentment. This brewing resentment can explode into an argument. It is better to listen and acknowledge your spouse right away even if the request cannot be fulfilled until later.

Making marriages last well into the golden years is not easy. It takes a lot of compromise and a willingness to work together. Couples who find humor, balance and patience with each other discover some of the best parts of growing old together.