- 1). Address your own needs and priorities and become more assertive in expressing them. This will help end the codependency cycle of trying to control and fix everything in the marriage at the expense of your own feelings and needs.
- 2). Move past the first roadblock, denial, and recognize that he has a problem. Research the addiction process and how he can reach his goals. Discuss with your husband some treatment options.
- 3). Have the family join Alcoholics Anonymous or another 12-step program, such as Narcotics Anonymous. These programs hold meetings at various times during the day, so there is always one available, and the sponsors have lived the program and can encourage and help your husband. You and your children may benefit from joining the programs for spouses and teenagers, like Al-anon and Ala-teen, which encourage and help family members on how to deal with the addict.
- 4). Form an intervention with family, friends and a professional counselor to confront your husband about his addiction. This is often part of a pre-arranged treatment plan, and a hospital visit may follow, allowing your husband to detox. After detoxification, it is important to promote healthier lifestyle changes and to use the 12-step program as motivation.
- 5). Have your husband start both individual and marital therapy with you. Couples therapy is important because recovery goes much better if both spouses are involved, even if you think your involvement is not needed. If you are both involved in 12-step programs and counseling as part of a treatment plan, your relationship is more likely to survive the trauma of the addiction. It may be helpful to attend a marriage retreat to strengthen your relationship. Retrouvaille is a national program designed for couples that are hurting and disillusioned.
- 6). Try to reconcile your marriage by forgiving your husband for his addiction. With patience, love and counseling, you may be able to move past this crisis and even have a stronger marriage than before because you have learned to communicate more effectively.
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