is the ultimate pregnancy symptom. It's something that nearly everyone has heard about and the vast majority of pregnant women expect it in early pregnancy. The problem is, it's not so easy to say you'll have it this week to this week and then it's gone. Nor is it easy to say it's only the first trimester or that you'll have nausea and vomiting - it can come and go, last awhile, have combinations of nausea and vomiting or just one. But what's worse than not knowing about morning sickness and how it will effect you personally is the goofy things that people say to you about morning sickness. Here are some of my favorite:
- It's all in your head.
- At least it's only the first trimester.
- There are medications you can take for that now.
- Have you tried...
- I know you think you have it bad...
- You look awful!
- Are you still throwing up?
- At least you're just nauseated, throwing up is much worse.
- At least you can throw up, it's worse to be just nauseated.
- Are you sure it's only one baby?
- Why are you throwing up now? It's not the morning anymore.
- Do you always go to the bathroom this much?
- At least you can throw up, I wish I could throw up.
- At least you have a reason to clean your bathroom.
- Remember, you're the one who wanted a baby.
- I bet you know where all the bathrooms are these days...
- Do you have anything left in your stomach?
- Would you like some pickles and ice cream?
- You should totally tie your hair back...
- Throwing up is the sign of a healthy pregnancy.
- Why do you carry around a plastic bag?
- You've lost weight.
- For all this throwing up, you haven't lost any weight.
- Hang in there, the second trimester is coming...
So now that we have the list of things you shouldn't say, you should remember that these sayings might get you in trouble. That said, not every one of these phrases will make every pregnant woman mad, but consider what you're saying before you say it. Are you being helpful? Or are you being snarky? Are you offering her some specific advice that is likely to be helpful or simply making a comment?
If you are truly trying to be helpful, think about the context. While she's hanging her head over the toilet is not the time to give advice, no mater how well intentioned. I would suggest starting with asking her what's going on, what's helped and what hasn't. That will protect you from some of the comments above. Also be honest about what you know and what you don't. Chances are if you're a man, it's not going to come across the same way as a woman who has previously had a baby, no matter how great of a partner you are being.
In the end remember, there is not one cure for morning sickness. Women all respond differently to different treatments, even the ones from the old wives. That said, if you find something that works, stick with it as long as it works. Though do realize that what works might change week to week, day to day or even pregnancy to pregnancy. Do what you need to do to stay sane and hydrated. Realize that even if you're subsisting on snack cakes and fizzy drinks, you and your baby will be fine, eventually.