When it comes to getting your needs met in the labor and delivery room, you may feel that the old nursery school rhyme applies: You get what (or who) you get and don't get upset.
Labor and delivery nurses are the luck of the draw, it seems.
Whoever is next in the duty rotation is who attends you during your labor.
Sometimes this works out just fine, but for women who are going for an unmedicated birth or women with other special needs or desires, asking for a nurse who has experience with your concerns can make all the difference.
Labor and delivery nurses have many duties and lots of charting to do while you labor, and many have limited time to offer you hands-on support.
In fact, one study showed that nurses only spend about 6% of their time providing supportive care to laboring women.
Sometimes nurses have more than one patient to care for at a time.
Sometimes they are loaded down with managing the technology associated with the modern delivery room.
Sometimes they are having a bad day, or a tough shift.
And sometimes they just don't see eye to eye with you on what your labor should be like.
Some nurses like their patients quiet and in bed, resting comfortably with an epidural, while others find their bliss in being right there with a mama while she rocks a natural birth.
There are some L&D nurses who are totally jazzed about supporting women with certain needs, and that's the kind of nurse you want in the room with you.
Having a nurse who is a good match for you can mean the difference between a great birth experience and a bad one.
Maybe it's that you want an unmedicated birth, or you have religious or cultural needs you want observed, or you are a survivor of abuse and need extra TLC.
Maybe you have other concerns that you'd like addressed with extra sensitivity and skill.
Chances are, there is a nurse on duty who will go out of her (or his) way to care for those needs once you make them known to the hospital staff.
When you own your values, needs, and desires you have clarity on the things that are important to you for your labor and birth.
Use that clarity to ask for a nurse who can support those needs.
When you check in to the L&D ward ask for a nurse who is especially good with cases such as yours.
By asking you'll be much more likely to get those needs met.
It is very important that you have trust and a good working relationship with your nurse.
Your nurse is your best advocate while you are in labor, often managing your labor while the doctor is with other patients, in the office, or at home if you are laboring through the night.
The outcome of your birth is dependent on care choices your nurse makes.
What can you do if the nurse assigned to you is not a "love match?" Ask to speak with the charge nurse and see if a switch can be made.
When it comes to getting your needs met in the labor and delivery room, another phrase can be just as true as the one above - Ask and you shall receive.