Relationships

According to Rinatta Paries, Master Certified Relationship Coach, men and women looks at relationships in different ways. Women tend to look at most interactions in terms of the relationship, considering each interaction as either advancement of the relationship or increasing the distance, in situations where she is no longer interested. Men are quite the opposite, whereas they do not relate everything to the development of the relationship. Problems often arise because of this major difference. As a solution, Paries emphasizes the importance of women being cautious about reading too much into every interaction. She also notes that men should be sure to give some attention to the relationship each day.

Problems

Conner notes in his paper, “Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women," which draws on his observations over a five-year period that, aside from the obvious physical differences, there are certain psychological differences between men and women. When women approach and solve a problem, they are usually focused as much on the development of the relationship in the process as they are with solving the problem itself. Men tend to be most concerned with exhibiting their competence, finding the best solution, without regard to the relationship.

Closeness

Men and women view closeness in different ways. Connor explains that men usually view a solid relationship in terms of shared activities such as competition, sports, outdoor and sexual activities. For most women, it is the communicating and sharing of thoughts, ideas and emotions that makes them feel closer.

Tendencies

In the October 1998 Single Scene Newspaper of Phoenix, Janet L. Jacobsen reported on a survey conducted at a singles dance with questions pertaining to dating and relationships. While the survey was in no way a scientific study, it points out a few interesting differences for consideration. When asked if it is acceptable for a woman to ask a man out that she has never dated, 100 percent of the men polled said yes, while only 55 percent of the women concurred. As far as attraction, personality was most important to 80 percent of the females polled, compared to 36 percent of the men. Twenty-one percent of the men indicated appearance as the number one priority. None of the women listed appearance.

Advice

Toni Coleman, licensed psychotherapist and professional relationship coach, offers dating advice for men and women. Men are encouraged to be clear about what women want from a relationship, improve communication with their partner and learn to interpret mixed messages that women sometimes send. Women should determine what they really want in a partner, improve their communication skills and understand what men look for in women and why they marry.