Husbands, if you find that you and your wife are not talking regularly, or if your marriage has hit a rocky patch, try asking these questions.
Now remember, your job is to listen.
When you ask these questions, you may end up getting hours of valuable input on what makes your wife tick, why she has been hurt, and what she needs from you to bring healing to her heart.
If your goal is a happy marriage, ask your wife these questions and THEN LISTEN! Preface the questions with this assurance..
and be SINCERE! "I want to ask you a question and I just want you to help me.
I really want to understand life through your eyes.
So, I won't tell you that you are wrong or defend myself...
I just want to listen and really hear what you are saying.
" Many wives will be suspicious about your motives -- especially if you've been the kind of husband who won't exactly win any awards for being a W.
M.
C.
M.
(i.
e.
World's Most Considerate Man).
But once she starts to open up, you'll be amazed at what you learn about your relationship.
(I also give some very important resources at the end of this article that will help you repair anything that's not right with your marriage, so please check those out.
I guarantee they'll help.
) 1.
How did you feel in our first year when things began going south in our marriage? 2.
How did you feel when it seemed like I was not interested in our relationship? 3.
How did it make you feel when I used to take second looks in passing and when I would flirt with women casually? 4.
In what ways did I change after we got married that was really unfair to you and made you feel angry, frustrated or hopeless? 5.
What promises did I make to you by action or by word when we were dating that went by the wayside after we got married? 6.
Which of these are most important to you? (A typical answer to this one, guys, is...
all of them!) 7.
How does it make you feel when I yell at the kids or jump to conclusions? Angry? Powerless? Does it make you feel like you want to jump to defend them? Of course, all of these questions may not be applicable to your particular situation or relationship (if you don't have children, for example, then #7 won't make much sense), but by and large the issues addressed by asking and answering these questions are pretty much universal.
Also, for example, if it's your wife who yells at andjumps to conclusions with the kids, then also don't ask #7.
This exercise is for you to understand how you have hurt your wife; it is not to trick her into seeing her flaws.
Let me know how you do!