Being intentional in your life is everything, and can create great joy regardless of your dilemmas and challenges.
Whether you are a man or a woman, there are small things you can do every day (that are easy) to increase the joy in your life.
Practice them every day.
And even better, if you have children- teach them to your kids.
It will be great for them to learn these also.
-Find little things to do every day that make you happy.
Yes, Starbucks is expensive, but for some people, it makes them happy to get that little cup of overpriced coffee everyday.
Okay, you could also try playing a few minutes of your favorite computer game (we like Spider Solitaire and Free Cell), reading your favorite newspaper section, scanning a new magazine, watching sports, or reading a few papers of your favorite book.
Try to find more things that don't cost a lot (if anything), and increase your joy.
When you increase your happiness in little ways every day, it makes a big difference.
-Write down 5 things every day that make you grateful.
When I was in the last year of my first marriage, I was just trying to get through each day.
"Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach had just been published.
Once again, look for the small stuff.
It's easy to find gratitude in having food in my stomach, clean sheets on my bed, my two kids, and my parents.
I had 5 things on my list, and hadn't even gotten to my friends.
It made me feel full instead of "in lack" and that was a great thing.
I still find myself making that list in my head when I'm laying in bed at night, especially after a tough day.
-Go for perfection in moments only.
Life is only perfect about 1% of the time.
What about the other 99%? There are very few perfect weeks or days, but there are many perfect moments each day.
A smile from your child.
A nice word from a friend.
The great way it feels to finally get into bed at the end of a long day.
Notice them.
Enjoy them.
Remember them each day.
The more you practice noticing them every day, the clearer you will see the good parts of your life.
-Develop your love and acceptance of yourself.
Talk to yourself in a loving and caring way.
Take responsibility for your own happiness and reactions.
Your life develops a new maturity when you stop making anyone else responsible for your happiness.
-Exercise- even if it is only for a few minutes a day.
Move your body whether in yoga, walking, pushups or running around the backyard with the kids.
Don't try to do 40 minutes 5 times a week, just go for little bursts of energy.
Save longer walks or exercise for the weekends.
You can also do this by parking far away in a parking lot, kicking the ball on the sidelines at a kids' event or stretching in front of the TV.
A great book, "8 Minutes In The Morning" by Jorge Cruise showed me the beauty of a little exercise without killing myself.
Plus it has helpful hints and a pep talk for each day.
-Every morning and every night, say a prayer for yourself and the people you love.
Whether you are agnostic, atheist, Christian, Jewish, Muslem, or purple, life will stretch you.
Don't be alone.
Go to church or synagogue or mosque and re-examine your faith, ask your questions, and find the peace in knowing that God creates order out of chaos, and is very big on letting people start over.
Your faith will get you through the hard times in your life when nothing else can help.
-Practice energy conservation.
This means decide what is really important to you and spend your time and energy on those things.
At some point in my life, I decided I was going to stop getting upset about things like standing in line, what people said, what I couldn't control, etc.
I save my emotion and my energy for the positive stuff, and focus on that.
And try to be aware when I am expending emotion on things that aren't my focus.
-Laugh often throughout the day.
Find a favorite cartoon, favorite sitcom, favorite silly blog, favorite joke book or get a friend to help figure out what makes you laugh - whatever it takes, but make sure you are expanding your sense of humor and laughing everyday, especially when you don't feel like it.