Wouldn't it be nice if we could look at the line from the old Beatles' song and take it for granted that ‚¬"all you need is love when it comes to our relationships, or anything for that matter?

However, on a practical level when it comes to our marriages, what we typically think of as love sometimes doesn't seem to be enough, does it? Or, at least it doesn't play out that way in the divorce statistics. I sure would like to make a positive dent in those divorce statistics. how about you?

Let's take just a moment and quantify, or perhaps qualify, just a few aspects of a love that will work to sustain a marriage through the hard times.

1) A love that will give up the right to be right.

Oh, man, I don't like that one. I don't have to be right all the time when I disagree with my spouse about something. I need to learn say these words more often, "Yeah, you're right." I don't like that. I like to be right. And, conversely, she needs to be comfortable saying those words also. And we should be comfortable with that. If we truly are "one," as the scripture says, then who cares who had the best idea on the particular topic in question? We are supposed to be "one." Let's learn to be more of a "we" and less of a "you and me". It's not that we lose our individual personalities. We don't want to do that at all. But let's learn to accept when we're wrong, and hopefully be happy that one of us got it right, even if it wasn't me!

2) A love that will not hold onto a grudge.

Oh, yeah, we do it. We get in a little (or big) argument, and then the heat of the moment passes, the tone and the verbiage settle down, but we still won't let it go. For me it's like there's something in my silly subconscious that says that my spouse should be punished by me having a bad attitude for a day or so before we can communicate normally again.

So, if the topic is anywhere close to being petty or small, let's learn to let it go quickly and forgive quickly. Sure, there are times when a spouse does a major wrong against us, and no, I'm not saying just to let that slide. But, on the minor stuff, each partner should learn how to let go of the petty grudges much more quickly than many of us do.

3) A love that truly puts the needs of their spouse above their own.
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Wow. We hear that said a lot, but do we practice that as a reality in our relationships? Down in the deepest part of my gut do I want peace, happiness, and joy for my spouse more than I want it for myself? Sure, you should want those thing for yourself, but are we pursuing a relationship with our husband or wife with the kind of intensity that we REALLY want their needs to come first? It's easier to say than to do. But it can be done. Those couples that find those close, wonderful, lifetime relationships work at that hard enough to make it become a reality.

4) A love that displays honor to their partner.

Take a look at a marriage where the husband and wife compliment, build up, and honor each other privately and publicly, and you will see a marriage that has a much greater chance of making it than one in which that doesn't happen. Sure, we can joke, laugh, and cut up with each other. However, when I see a husband, or a wife, truly disrespect his/her spouse, especially in public, it's a heartbreaking thing. And it can happen in subtle ways. Just a small word, or comment that might even go almost unheard by those around, but that spouse knows. In the heart of that wounded spouse, the love that should be built up by honoring them gradually erodes and fades little by little. Let's commit to give honor and truly respect our husbands and wives. It really gets tough when we are sometimes called upon to honor our mate when they aren't producing their A-game at the time. However, let's do our best to be on our A-game as much as possible in honoring our spouse.

5) A love that can confront respectfully.

Sure, I want to be honored by my wife and vice versa, but sometimes I need my back side kicked a bit. However, there are ways to even do that respectfully. For me, if I need to be told where I'm missing the mark, I want to be told in a tone of voice that doesn't say I'm a dirt clod. I don't want to be talked to like a child either. I think it's good to tell our spouse a positive thing or two before your drop the subject of your discontent on them. Also, it's better that we tackle these issues when we're not already angry, but, unfortunately, too often those are the very times when we let those things come out. However, we have to confront sometimes, even in the best marriages. Let's learn to do it lovingly. There are those couples who learn how to do that. They didn't necessarily learn how to do it overnight, but they did learn how. Let's give it a shot. Lovingly approach those tough topics with respect, not putting down, or speaking in a demeaning tone. Let's do everything we can to hold up the honor of our spouse even as we present a subject that may certainly be unwelcome.

Okay, I know those are simple marriage 101 principles, but I think they could help us all. Sure, when abuse, adultery, and more heavy topics come along you have to proceed to marriage 102, 103, etc., etc.

However, on a day to day basis, if each marriage partner would give up the right to be right, let go of the grudges, honor their partner, put the needs of the other before their own, and learn to confront respectfully, I think we just might make a dent in that divorce rate.

Blessings on your marriage!!